Glossary of
Terms
GLOSSARY OF TERMS
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Version 1.0 by Dr Snauss(mods
by Prof. Vugel). 1000 words of purest joy(But there are only 30 Snauss?).
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8mm
We usually need 8mm nuts and bolts. We rarely find 8mm nuts and bolts.
Adjustable spanners
Spanners are, ultimately, better tools than adjustable spanners. Snauss
originally loved the adjustable but has been largely converted to spanners
by Vugel. An adjustable is, however, a smaller, lighter and more convenient
part of a Grecet field repair kit (for repairing fields) than a spanner
set.
Badgers
Of all the mammals that are in the wood, the badger bears the crown.(snauss
has a badger fetish)
Blokes
eg. blokes of wood, wooden blokes. Blokes are more commonly known as blocks.
Bolds
Also known as bolts. Grecet used to use bolts for everything, because
they didn't have a welder. Now they use a welder for (almost) everything,
and don't have many bolts.
Bue
Bue is a blue liquid developed in the Vugel Lab. It has the unique property
of being able to burn forever. It is sold in tins, or as cubular "oonits".
It is stored in the Grecet facility in massive siloes, which must be checked
daily by coomlative poomas. The most economical way to use bue is to acquire
a free sample, since you will never run out of bue. Do not drink bue.
BueNac
BueNac is the rival company to Grecet International. BueNac manufactures
bue, but their bue is green. They have wolves instead of poomas (see Pooma).
BueNac is rubbish.
Christ
The suffix "christ" was applied to the early Grecet vehicles:
the Gingus Christ and the Szanter Christ. Nobody knows why. It is no longer
used.
Cutting
Snauss does most of the cutting to start with, but then Vugel gets pissed
off that Snauss can't use a saw particularly well, and finishes it off
himself.
Drilling
Snauss does most of the drilling.
Grecet
The word "Grecet" comes from the English word "great".
Vugel wrote this word once, and Snauss thought he had written "Grecet".
Thus was born a legend.
Hardboard
Vugel suggests using hardboard for more things than it can, realistically,
be used for, he is not being serious though just trying to rid himself
of some hardboard he has in his garage. it makes a good welding shield
though.
Nyloc
The Nyloc locking nut is the greatest of all nuts. As Gamble the God says,
nothing shifts a Nyloc.
Nylox
An orbiting yo-yo toy, created by Snauss. The Nylox consists of a 2ft
string with a 10mm Nyloc tied at each end. A third Nyloc is free to move
along the string between the two end Nylocs.
NyloXuss
The third steerable sledge design. Name is a pisstake of the "snoXross"
sledge that some idiot named. Pronounce it. Go on. SnoXross. Named noXus
for short
Owls
The best owls include barn owls, great grey owls, Ural owls and Sjosted's
owlets. This is all Dr Snauss's fault.(Snauss now has an owl fetish too)
Pass
When a Team Grecet member asks another to pass a tool, the other member
shall pass any tool other than the one asked for.
Example: Vugel asks "Can you pass me the screwdriver?". Snauss
passes the pliers.
When a Team Grecet member asks another to pass him a tool, then gets bored
of waiting for the other member to fetch the tool, he gets it himself.
Then he gives it to the second Grecet member, who passes it back to him.
Pooma
A Coomlative pooma is a feline mammal not unlike a puma, but it differs
from the puma in that it wears a pair of glasses, and has stubble. No-one
knows what the glasses do, or why they are there (although some suspect
the Coomlative Pooma to be short-sighted). It is often seen with both
arms raised aggressively, uttering a growl that sounds very much like
the human phrase "wargh". It can rarely be seen deep in thought,
with paw on chin, saying "hmm". In order to be a pooma cool,
a pooma must go to pooma school.
Latin name: Poomulus coomulus.
Collective name: Appoomulation (an accoomulation of poomas).
A fighting species of the pooma exists: the L33t Strike Pooma. This wears
goggles instead of glasses, for they offer protection against the dangers
of bue. The strike pooma, Latin name: Poomulus L33tstrikeus, is the arch-nemesis
of the BueNac wolf.
Racing
Team Grecet hasn't done much racing. There may have been a couple of Gingus-versus-Swedish
races, and maybe one sledge race once upon a time, but that's about it.
We did occasionally ride between the two main Grecet garages on Bue Flame
and Swedish, and Bue Flame and Dickinson.
Repair Kit
The Gingus once had a repair kit consisting of a spoon in a nice pouch.
We lost it somewhere. A modern Grecet repair kit consists of adjustable
spanner, fork, spoon and tube of Primula cheese spread (useful as a lubricant,
fuel, water displacement fluid, toothpaste, bait, drink, food, paint,
flux, antiseptic filler, false albino camel turd and rudimentary haemorrhoid
treatment).
Rivals
Once upon a time, the Gingus had a poorly-constructed rival (I mean it
was poorly constructed. The frame was extended with a length of wood,
the throttle was controlled by a radio control transmitter, gaffer-taped
to the steering wheel, and the driving sprocket of the chain drive was
litterally hammered onto the retarded-carrot-shaped drive shaft!). We
were going to race this rival kart, but it was just too rubbish to be
worth racing. The Gingus was the King.
Smoothular
The skis on the Slippery Jim are very smooth. This is due to using a fine
sanding disc at high RPM, then T-Cutting them and waxing them.
Snauss
Snauss is unable to use a hacksaw to any degree of accuracy at all.
Snow
It doesn't snow much in Dunstable, but we still build a lot of sledges
in the winter, yet no one knows quite why.
Spoons
Spoons are the most useful of all the cutlery. Forks come a close second.
Spraint
Spray paint. We favour using Rust Not. We usually spray straight onto
metal, give it 2 coats and wax it when it's dry. We can't afford to use
primer or lacquer on our bodged creations. However, to ensure a quality
finish, Vugel lacquers all of his steel roses.
Vugel Lab
Located in the heart of Ireland, the secret Vugel Lab contains all the
Grecet stuff.
Welder
Look, Dr Snauss. As good a welder Prof Vugel is, he cannot weld metal
to wood. He also cannot weld metal if you cut it poorly.
Welding
Vugel does all of the welding.
Wheels
Wheels used to be hard to find. Now we have copious amounts of spare wheels.
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